Developing healthy ways to calm down gives parents and those in a parenting role and children/teens tools to manage their feelings. When parents or those in a parenting role take their own break to calm down, they model emotional regulation. When children/teens identify and practice calm down strategies, they are more likely to use them when big feelings arise. Once calm, parents or those in a parenting role and children/teens are able to communicate in healthy ways, strengthen relationships, and solve problems together.
| What makes you feel better when you need to calm down?
Add your ideas here:
- ___________________________
- ___________________________
Other ideas to try:
- Identify and name your feelings
- Move your body (go for a walk, dance, exercise, stretch)
- Get outside
- Briefly engage your brain with something else (listen to calming music or watch a favorite show)
- Play a game
- Read a book or magazine
- Draw or paint
- Write in a journal
- Practice deep breathing
- Try guided meditation
- Close your eyes for a few minutes and imagine your favorite place
- Breathe in/diffuse essential oils (lavender, chamomile, etc.)
- Get a drink of water or make a cup of tea
- Take a break to browse online
- Spend time with a pet
- Use positive self-talk (“I’ve got this…” “It’s going to work out.”)
- Take a shower or bath
- Call a friend or family member
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Ask: “What makes you feel better when you need to calm down?”
Add your child’s/teen’s ideas here:
- ___________________________
- ___________________________
Other ideas to try:
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- Help your child/teen identify and name their feelings. How are you feeling? It seems like you are feeling angry. Is that right?”
- Offer a comfort item like a stuffed animal or pillow.
- Offer to join your child in calming down. “Let’s both pause for a moment so our brains can catch up with our feelings.”
- Brainstorm coping strategies with your child/teen. You could offer suggestions like:
- take a walk outside,
- play with a pet,
- listen to soothing music or watch a favorite show,
- play a game, build something, or play with a favorite toy,
- read a book or magazine,
- draw, color, or paint, or
- write in a journal.
- Practice Hot Chocolate Breathing with your child: Pretend to hold a hot cup of cocoa in front of you. Deeply breathe in the aroma of the chocolate. Then blow out to cool it. Do this to the count of five to practice.
- Practice Strange Calm with your child: Switch into slow motion. Use the burst of energy to become extremely slow and intentional about using your body.
- Suggest you and your child close your eyes for a few minutes and imagine your favorite places together.
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Ask for help when you need it. Don’t hesitate to speak with a mental health professional or your primary care doctor for more resources.
