Healthy Risk Taking
Learn how to support healthy risk-taking and help your child avoid taking unhealthy risks.
Parenting a child can be joyful, exhausting, and overwhelming, sometimes all at once. Tuning in, the ability to stay present, calm, and intentional, can help you feel more grounded, connected, and confident in your parenting.
By tuning in to your child, you’ll better understand their cues, respond to their needs with greater calm, and develop a sense of patience and self-kindness when parenting feels hard. As your child grows, their cues may change, from coos and cries to words and gestures, but tuning in continues to matter just as much.
Tuning in isn’t about being perfect; it’s about noticing what’s happening in the moment and responding with calm and care.
This five-step process helps you tune in to your child’s needs. It also teaches your child important, critical life skills. The same process can be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process).
Your child is constantly giving you information through their body language, facial expressions, words, and sounds. Tuning in begins by noticing those cues and responding intentionally.
Notice the “quiet cues.” Children often show you what they need before they cry. Watch for:
Name what you see. Describing your child’s behavior helps you stay aware and models language development. For example:
Pause before responding. When your child cries or fusses, try pausing for a few seconds before reacting. This gives you a moment to tune in and respond calmly.
Children learn by watching and experiencing your calm presence. You can model tuning in by creating small routines that bring calm and focus to your day.
Create grounding routines. Simple routines, like singing the same song before naps or narrating what you’re doing during bath time, help your child feel calm and secure.
Use grounding techniques for yourself. Try practicing one of these during moments of stress or overwhelm:
Narrate your own awareness. As you calm yourself, describe what you’re doing:
Tuning in happens in small, consistent moments. By adding simple practices into your daily routine, you’ll build habits that help you stay grounded, even during stressful times.
Build a “quiet pause” routine. Choose a moment in your day, before mealtime, while giving a bath, or while rocking your child, to take one deep breath and quietly say: “I’m right here.”
Practice “noticing without judgment.” When your child cries or struggles to settle, practice observing without self-criticism:
Focus on one sense at a time. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try focusing on just one sense to ground yourself:
Celebrate your wins. Build a practice of self-reflection to reinforce learning. Ask yourself:
Children learn trust and security when caregivers respond with warmth and steadiness. Responding by first tuning in, rather than reacting impulsively, helps build your child’s sense of safety.
Pause before reacting. When your child’s crying or fussing feels overwhelming, pause for just a few seconds to ground yourself.
Soften your tone and movement. During moments of stress, slow your breathing, speak softly, and move gently, your calmness will help regulate your child’s emotions.
Allow yourself to step away briefly. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to place your child safely in their crib for a moment and take a few calming breaths before returning.
Tuning in, especially during a busy day with a child, isn’t easy. Each time you pause, breathe, or respond with calm, you’re strengthening your skills and building a more connected relationship with your child.
Notice your own progress. Reflect on small moments where you responded thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively:
Celebrate your child’s responses. When your child calms in your arms, smiles at your voice, or leans into you for comfort, these are signs that your calm presence is making a difference.
Be kind to yourself. If you lose your patience or feel overwhelmed, remind yourself:“I’m learning. I can try again next time.”
Tuning in strengthens connection and helps you stay attuned to yourself and your child. By tuning in, you’re not only creating calm moments for yourself, you are also building a deeper connection with your child. Each time you pause, breathe, and respond with intention, you are teaching your child that they are safe, loved, and cared for, no matter what. You are exactly the parent your child needs, every moment of tuning in matters.
Learn how to support healthy risk-taking and help your child avoid taking unhealthy risks.
Explore a step by step process for dealing with simple and challenging parenting topics to build critical life skills and improve your relationship with your child.