Homework for Your 16-Year-Old

Now Is the Right Time!

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an important role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and setting up a daily homework routine provides a perfect opportunity. 

Teens ages fifteen to nineteen are adapting their early school-age learning habits to meet their more demanding workload. They are establishing critical learning habits that will extend throughout their school years, including how they approach research and study. In addition to managing daily homework assignments, fifteen-to-nineteen-year-olds will be assigned longer-term projects. These may include research, writing, group coordination, and reading novels or longer nonfiction works. Frequently, teachers leave the planning and organizing of those projects up to the students. In these situations, teens may be challenged by tackling new, more complex content and figuring out how to work on the project over time. This can be a great test of patience.

For most teens, homework is a nightly and ongoing reality. Research shows that a parent or someone in a parenting role plays a key role. Teens with a parent or someone in a parenting role supporting their learning at home and engaged in their school community have more consistent school attendance, better social skills, and higher grade point averages and test scores than those without. ¹ Indeed, the best predictor of students’ academic achievement is parental involvement. 

Yet, there are challenges. You may discover outdated and incomplete assignments crumpled in your teen’s backpack. Or, your teen may procrastinate on a long-term project until it becomes a crisis the night before it’s due. Questioning their work may result in arguments when they have other goals. 

While getting a regular homework routine going might be challenging, it can be a positive experience and promote valuable skills for school and life success. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to support a homework routine.

Why Homework?

Teens and emerging young adults are managing a larger and more complex workload, new study skills, and longer-term projects. This will take a whole new level of planning and organization. Layered in with the day-to-day school assignments, there may also be future academic goals they want to reach (like going to college), which will require planning and incremental action steps. Schoolwork and school goals can become a daily challenge if you don’t create regular routines with input from your teen in advance, clarify roles and responsibilities, and establish a plan for success.

Today, in the short term, homework routines can create

• greater cooperation and motivation
• greater opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you each implement your respective roles and feel set up for success 
• trust in each other that you have the competence to complete your responsibilities with practice and care
• less frustration due to better organization, space, and resources
• opportunities to learn about your teen’s school curriculum
• added daily peace of mind

Tomorrow, in the long term, your teen

• builds skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting
• builds skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence
• gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiency
• develops positive learning habits that contribute directly to school success

Five Steps for Creating a Homework Routine

This five-step process helps your family establish a routine for homework. It also builds essential skills in your teen. The same process can also be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process).

You can get your teen thinking about establishing a homework routine by asking them open-ended questions. You’ll help prompt their thinking. You’ll also begin to understand their thoughts, feelings, and challenges related to homework better so that you can address them. In gaining input, your teen

• has the opportunity to think through the routine and problem-solve any obstacles they may encounter ahead of time
• has a greater stake in anything they’ve designed themselves (and with that sense of ownership comes a greater responsibility for implementing the routine)
• will have more motivation to work together and cooperate because of their sense of ownership
• will be working with you on making informed decisions (understanding the reasons behind those decisions) about a critical aspect of their learning — their homework

Actions

• Declare learning independence! Begin by letting your teen know they are in charge of their learning, and you are there to support them whenever they request it. You understand that a consistent routine will help everyone in the family respect your teen’s time and schedule when it comes to getting down to work because one of your teen’s top developmental priorities is declaring independence, articulating and recognizing that you will respect that priority is critical to success with this age group.
• Allowing choice will increase your teen’s sense of control and motivation to do the work during the allotted time. Ask questions like:
• “Considering all the activities that typically occur after school, when is the best time for you to do homework?”
• “How can I help support you in getting your homework done?” 
• Experiment to figure out a plan. Your teen has changed since their younger years along with the demands of their homework, so it’s an ideal time to revisit the question of when your teen feels they’ll be at their best to tackle homework in the hours after school. Ask key questions and assign a first trial week. If one time doesn’t work, try out an after-dinner time and ask again: “Does this time work better?” Everyone has different energy cycles and times when they feel better able to focus, so work on discovering that rhythm with your teen, and you’ll go a long way toward setting them up for success! 
• Once you agree upon a time that makes sense for all, your attempts to keep that time sacred and consistent for homework are essential to ensure it becomes a habit and routine. If you are consistent, it can serve as a predictable, non-negotiable process. Your teen will know what to expect and when to expect it.
• Take note of when your teen says it is best to do homework. Agree upon a timer that can go off at that time each day. Instead of calling it “Time for homework,” which may incite a battle, an inanimate, dispassionate object alerts them. You can use a kitchen timer outside or inside or collaboratively set an alarm on your cell phone or tablet. 
• If your teen has decided to do homework right after school, be sure they know to have a healthy, high-protein snack first (peanut butter crackers, cheese, fruit, etc.). The social stress and expectations of school may be draining and could wear on a teen’s motivation to continue to work hard through the evening. Be sure they have the fuel necessary (through proper nutrition and a good night’s rest) to get through their work.  
• Your teen may feel it’s necessary to stay up all night studying for a test, particularly if they have procrastinated studying. Know and share the facts! Your teen is more likely to get a higher score with a good night’s rest than a whole night of studying and less sleep.
• Set up space. Take some time to help them determine a consistent space for homework completion. You may look for
• a well-lit location
• proximity to your family’s living space or kitchen (wherever you’ll typically be so that you are never far to offer support)
• a durable work surface that can get dirty
• Work with your teen to get the space ready. They’ll want to set up the space with:
• school supplies include loose-leaf paper, pens, pencils, pencil sharpeners, a dictionary, and any other items they anticipate they might need
• no clutter (A disorganized environment can distract from a teen’s focus. So, work with them to eliminate clutter, organize tools, and only have the essentials. Invest in a few supply holders to keep tools neat and ready.)
• a binder, bin, or other receptacle designated for school papers that are brought home and stay at home
• a water bottle
• Their homework space aims to provide a well-equipped, consistent place for your teen to focus entirely on the work. In this way, they’ll know what they can expect. You won’t have to argue over frustrations when they can’t find a school tool. And they’ll learn to take greater responsibility for their learning as they work with you to organize this space.
• Create a family homework rule. Be sure to discuss (at a family dinner, for example) how the family can respect homework time. Consider whether you want all siblings to do homework simultaneously or not. If you want everyone to do homework simultaneously, consider what must happen to make that happen. Either way, agree upon a homework rule that each will respect the person focused on their work and be quiet in that area of the house.
• If your teen is prone to feeling overwhelmed by homework, you can scaffold your teen by breaking the work into chunks. Suggest that your teen set a timer for fifteen minutes of work and then take a five-minute brain break. Fifteen-minute chunks will help the task feel more doable.
• Support your teen’s persistence skills with praise. “I know it is hard to juggle school work and your extracurriculars. I am impressed by how you are tackling things now.” Even if the transition to doing homework was challenging, remember to highlight any behaviors that move in the direction you are seeking more of. Many parents forget to acknowledge the baby steps toward the goal behavior.
• Make it fun! Designing a homework spot together can be an enjoyable experience. Allow your teen to pick out their own organization bins and school tools. They could make a sign with their name to designate the space. Or create a poster with an inspirational saying like, “Good things come from hard work!” Take a little time to label your new supply holders with names, stickers, or drawings to let your teen personalize them. All this can be motivating as they make the space their own. 
• When offering choices in designing a homework space that works best for your teen, they may prefer to set up a workspace in their bedroom because of their developmental desire for greater independence and privacy. If they do this, stop in a few times – not to check up on them – but to offer your support. 
• At the beginning of the school year, before you have to turn around a bad habit, talk about screen time related to completing homework. Again, seek input. Ask, “What do you think our rules should be around cell phone use or friend communication during homework time? When is it appropriate and helpful? When is it distracting?” Talk about it to agree on a policy that seems reasonable to all.
• When getting input from your teen, approach the conversation with curiosity.  If your teen insists they can focus better with music, ask them to explain why it helps.  Or ask them what studying techniques work best…is it reviewing notes, highlighting text, or drawing a graphic?  Helping them understand their learning style is valuable information to support their learning.

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, it’s easy to forget that your teen is learning new study skills involving project management, organization, and planning. Though they may be assigned work they are capable of doing; they may not be prepared to manage the larger workload. Because so much is new, expectations are more significant, and they feel they should already know it all; they can become overwhelmed and frustrated. Learning about what developmental milestones your teen is working on can help you understand which tasks might be more difficult.^2,3 Here are some examples as they relate to homework.

• Fifteen-year-olds are in the final year of significant physical changes in puberty. They may feel insecure and sensitive to criticism. They may be preoccupied with peer interactions and impressions. Homework and academic goals are less important than socializing. Studying with friends may work poorly at this age because your teen may only focus on socializing rather than work. Though peers are highly influential, teens at this age still look to you for encouragement to handle the bigger expectations and workload. They may request your support with organization and planning for longer-term projects or studying. But, because they are still attempting to assert their independence, they want to own their work and only desire your active involvement when they seek it. Also, strong friendships can help motivate your teen to work hard in school, so your coaching and support of their connections with friends can also make a difference in their academic goal achievement.
• Sixteen-year-olds are at the end of the awkwardness of their new physical being and are beginning to feel and appear more confident in themselves and who they are. They may have new important goals outside of school, like learning to drive, getting a driver’s license, getting a part-time job, or trying out a romantic partnership. All these are critical steps for their exploration of adult life. But, these goals have to be balanced with academic goals. So, sharing and discussing possible strategies for juggling multiple goals and how those goals can be managed effectively can help this age group.
• Seventeen-year-olds have more serious pursuits on their mind. They may become highly focused on their academic and life goals as they consider their graduation is coming up and think about life after high school. Some may be applying to colleges, and for those, that goal can require a lot of time and focus on studying and applying to schools. It can become a highly stressful time, so your support during this time is critical to help them (as they request) organize and manage the process and deal in healthy ways with the stress surrounding it.
• Eighteen-year-olds and nineteen-year-olds are now considered emerging adults, gaining the ability to vote and socially recognized as adults. Many will enter college with a new set of academic goals and expectations. They may be eager to discuss the complexities of adult responsibilities because they are on the threshold of adulthood and perhaps facing living on their own for the first time. Most of all, they’ll need your listening and reflecting. At times, they may exude confidence, while at other times, they may feel highly insecure and run to you, needing comfort and security. This is a time for redefining your relationship, so paying close attention to their needs and offering assurance that they are ready and can do it independently, all while allowing for their independence, are some of your most important roles. 

Teaching is different than just telling. Teaching builds basic skills, grows problem-solving abilities, and prepares your teen for success. Teaching also involves modeling and practicing the positive behaviors you want to see, promoting skills, and preventing problems. 

Actions

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, it is easy to be confused about how best to support your teen’s homework. Here are some specific ways to define your role while ensuring your teen owns their learning process.

• Ask questions. When your teen calls you over to ask about a problem, ask prompting questions such as:
• “Where did you find this lesson in your book?” 
• “What other places could you find the answer?” 
• “What are other ways to think about your answer?”
• Share your curiosity and interest in the subject, but do not provide an answer.
• Plan and schedule. You can anticipate that multiple school and life goals, short- and long-term schoolwork, and projects are enough to challenge an experienced project manager. Even though your teen longs for independence, they can use your support to manage their goals and plot their action steps to meet them. 
• Pick out a calendar together (a physical calendar or planner is preferable to a digital one since the physical act of writing seals the schedule more firmly into the creator’s brain).
• Write out a list of school and life goals. This may need to be revisited quarterly as classes and priorities change. 
• Place deadlines in the schedule, guesstimate the time needed to work toward goals, and place milestones or benchmarks in the calendar to help your young adult see how much needs to be accomplished each day or week. This kind of planning and organizing can go a long way toward helping your teen achieve their school and life goals today while establishing valuable practices and habits for their future.
• Lead your teen to resources. Though you may feel like you’ve redirected your teen multiple times to the resources in front of them, treating each experience as a fresh opportunity to search for answers can help both of you keep an open mind about the work. Frequently, homework will relate to the resources they already have from school, whether novels or textbooks. So, when they just can’t find an answer and ask for your help, guide them back to their text. Take a look together. 
• Focus on keywords so that they can learn to spot keywords. 
• Attempt to read and review together. Because text is denser and more complex, teens may feel overwhelmed with information and need help to focus on the most important points. 
• Ask your teen which points are most important when discussing a problem. 
• Have your teen underline or highlight those words in the instructions or in the specific question they are trying to answer so that you have a focusing point. 
• Note that symbolism and abstract meanings may be more challenging for this age group. Abstract thinking is being developed, but it’s new and requires some exercise. Have patience, and know it’s normal and related to a development milestone.
• Research together. If you cannot find the source of the problem in your teen’s books, do some online research together. But be sure that you allow your teen to drive the process. You might ask, “What should we look up or search for together?” These are the first seeds of solid research skills.
• Letting your teen be the teacher can be empowering. You can say, “I don’t know much about _____. Can you share with me what you have learned?” 
• Teach the essential “brain break.” Breaks do not represent weakness or a lack of persistence. Human brains work better if they are given frequent breaks. Your teen’s young mind needs processing time, particularly as they are faced with taking in so much new information. In addition, the pressure of academic expectations can build. Their feelings may spill over to homework when they are safe at home with you (and not needing to keep it together as much as at school). 
• You might ask, “What else makes you feel better and comforted when frustrated?” Brainstorm a brief list of spaces, places, things, and actions that offer comfort when frustrated. Leave that list in your school tool homework space. It will serve as an ongoing resource when brain breaks are required.
• What do you do if you take brain breaks from your work? Share some success stories of how it’s worked for you! 
• You do not need to be a subject matter expert. If you can’t get the correct answer, take a step back. Realize that you are stealing a learning opportunity away from your teen. Instead, consider how you can provide guidance and support for them to answer the question or solve the problem themselves (even if they get it wrong). Ask yourself how to encourage them to take responsibility for meeting with their teacher after school or discussing it with peers.

Homework practice can be cooperatively completing the task together or trying out a task with you as a coach and ready support. Practice grows vital new brain connections that strengthen (and eventually form habits) each time your teen practices. 

Actions

• Use “I’d love to see…” statements. When teens learn a new ability, they are eager to show it off! Give them that chance. Say, “I’d love to see how you problem-solve this differently.” This can be used when your teen is stuck or missing essential steps.
• Do a “brain break” dry run. During homework, one night, maybe at a natural breaking point, practice a “brain break.” Practice moving away from homework. Get a drink of water. Walk outside and sniff the fresh air. Then, go back and ask, “Do you feel refreshed and ready, or do you need a little more time?” If your teen responds that they need more time, what would make them feel better? Perhaps getting a snack or taking a walk might do the trick? This practice is essential if you plan to use it as a tool when your teen is upset.
• Recognize effort. Recognize effort by saying “I notice…” statements like, “I notice how you got to work this afternoon without me asking. That’s taking leadership!” 
• Proactively remind. Often, the challenges in a homework routine recur day after day and may be predictable. You might know precisely what they are and when they will happen. So, just before they do, remind them gently, non-publicly. You may whisper in your teen’s ear, “Remember what we can do next to figure out the problem? What is it?”

At this point, you’ve taught your teen several new positive learning habits so that they understand how to perform them. You’ve practiced together. Now, you can offer support when it’s needed. Parents and those in a parenting role naturally provide support as they see their teen fumble with a situation where they need help. This is no different. 

Actions

• Promote a learning attitude. Show every confidence that your teen can learn anything with time and practice (because they genuinely can!). Your comments and reflections will significantly affect their competence in meeting any learning challenge.
• Ask key questions when your teen has difficulty. You could say, “It looks like you feel stuck. Is there another way you could approach the problem? How are you feeling about homework tonight?” 
• Coach on communications. You might notice your teen having a hard time and getting stuck even with your support. You might then say, “It seems like you are having trouble figuring this problem out and cannot find the answer in your resources. This would be a good time to ask your teacher about this problem. You might say, ‘Mrs. Johnson, I am having a hard time with this one. Can you help me?’” 
• Stay engaged. It can motivate a teen when a parent does their paperwork alongside them, keeping them company. Working together, after all, is much more enjoyable than working alone. 
• Allow for and reflect on real-world consequences. If you see a mistake on your teen’s paper, don’t correct it. You’ll be taking away a valuable learning opportunity. You could leave it alone or ask once, “Do you feel like this is right, or are you having difficulty with it?” If your teen confirms it’s the answer they want to give, then allow them the experience of their teacher correcting it. It’s a significant learning opportunity. It may open the door to extra support from their teacher.

No matter how old your teen is, your positive reinforcement and encouragement have a significant impact.

If your teen is working to grow their skills – even in small ways – it will be worthwhile to recognize it. Your recognition can go a long way in promoting positive behaviors and expanding your teen’s confidence. Your recognition also encourages safe, secure, and nurturing relationships — a foundation for solid communication and a healthy relationship with you as they grow. 

There are many ways to reinforce your teen’s efforts. It is essential to distinguish between three types of reinforcement: recognition, rewards, and bribes. These three distinct parenting behaviors have different impacts on your teen’s behavior.   

Recognition occurs after you observe the desired behavior in your teen. Noticing and naming the specific behavior you want to reinforce is key to promoting more of it. For example, “You took a brain break, returned, and worked through that challenging problem. Well done!” Recognition can include nonverbal acknowledgment such as a smile, high five, or hug.

Rewards can be helpful in certain situations by providing a concrete, timely, and positive incentive for doing a good job.  A reward is determined beforehand so the teen knows what to expect. It stops any negotiations in the heat of the moment.  A reward could be used to teach positive behavior or break a bad habit. The goal should be to help your teen progress to a time when the reward will no longer be needed. If used too often, rewards can decrease a teen’s internal motivation.     

Unlike a reward, bribes aren’t planned ahead of time and generally happen when a parent or someone in a parenting role is in the middle of a crisis. While bribes can be helpful in the short term to manage stressful situations, they will not grow lasting motivation or behavior change and should be avoided.

Actions

• Recognize and call out when things are going well. It may seem obvious, but it’s easy not to notice when everything moves smoothly. Noticing and naming the behavior provides the necessary reinforcement that you see and value your teen’s choice. For example, when teens complete their homework on time, a short, specific call out is all that’s needed: “I notice you completed your homework today on your own in the time we agreed upon. Excellent.”
• Recognize small steps along the way. Don’t wait for significant accomplishments—like the whole bedtime routine going smoothly—to recognize effort. Remember that your recognition can work as a tool to promote more positive behaviors. Find small ways your teen is making an effort and let them know you see them.
• Build celebrations into your routine. For example, snuggle and read before bed after getting through your bedtime routine. Or, in the morning, once ready for school, take a few minutes to listen to music together. 

Closing

Engaging in these five steps is an investment that will strengthen your skills as an effective parent or someone in a parenting role on many other issues and develop essential skills that will last a lifetime for your teen. Through this tool, teens can become more self-aware, deepen their social awareness, exercise their self-management skills, work on their relationship skills, and demonstrate and practice responsible decision-making.